Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
im goin to the NYE party with a tuxedo painted on my body. i know a girl who does it. wanna join?
I'm not gonna lie. having my legs shaved for me in the morning was a lovely surprise.
I JUST WANT TO WATCH PORN BUT THE CAT IS JUST SITTING HERE LICKING HIS BALLS. I CAN'T DO IT.
1 month til my stepdad becomes a u.s. citizen, so if you want to get in on the divorce pool its your last chance, $5 a square.
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
Oh no that was the time I did the walk of shame with no shoes
Three Asian guys got on the elevator with a handle of Hennessey and a sleeping bag. This is not the start of a joke.
I may have been mad at the Supreme Court/patriarchy and tried to hate fuck myself.
I woke up this morning to my panties draped around the neck of an empty bottle of bulleit. That is the perfect visual metaphor for my life at this juncture.
Its weird to introduce me to his wife and kids on the first date, right?
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA
i just remembered i drunk watched the brave little toaster last night
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