found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
I mean, I know they're ugly, but I cant turn down a birthday threesome.
All of our toilets in my house are broken. Thank God I've practiced peeing in the sink enough.
This from the guy I found eating salad out of a pot lid in his boxers on his porch last night.
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
I'm using the bullet from my cock ring to massage out my tmj lock jaw from giving too much head.
In other news, I apparently ate my retainers while rolling last night.
Got laid in my rudolph onesie for the second year in a row. New tradition? Absolutely.
sometimes a perk of being a drug dealer is amazon gift cards. who knew?
If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.
Thank you for dog sitting, there is $60 on my desk to be spent on DRUGS AND/OR GAS ONLY not that food stuff people crave.
Tell me I'm drunk and you have to come get me. It's usually true. They'll believe you.
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
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