plz talk dirty to me
I'm totally gay for Miss Californiaaaaaa
oh sweet, sweet irony
T-minus about 54 seconds until I am too high to speak English.
I'm jealous
My throat feels like a candle.
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He turned me down because he was still doing his taxes.
Yeah well my vagina has expectations too but they don't get met all the time.
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
You were such a shitshow...I was just standing in the kitchen eating my toaster strudel and you came in, whispered "you didn't see anything" and led him to the couch
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm hoping that by this time next year we will be smoking some weed at a gay wedding, asking "Mitt who?"
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
Please don't pee your pants in the cab. One more time, and im pretty sure the cab companies will refuse to pick you up anymore
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
How'd the date with the redheaded dentist go?
She didn't like my gingervitis joke
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
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