ugh. my friday night is playin' Farmville on my face. time to harvest the blackheads...
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
I'm so covered in bruises. God dammit drunk me. We are a lady.
New level of high: If I could bathe in my salsa right now I would.
Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that.
We told you to go get more fire wood and you came running back with a log that was on fire, not drunk at all.
I ripped my favorite jeans crossing that fence
That sucks
It's an upgrade! I didn;t even have to unzip my pants to pee!
I just want nice things and good sex
He wanted me to come over on Christmas...inviting your fuck buddy over for the holidays is just something you don't do.
I texted him in the morning wishing him a day as spectacular as his dick was.
PICK ME UP NOW I THINK THIS MOTEL IS A CRIME SCENE. also congrats on your engagement i saw the post on my phone while i was climbing out the window
At least life still wants to fuck me.
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
I mean, I'm not hammered, but I definitely can't show my face or tits in that bowling alley again
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