If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently 'she used to sleep with my brother' is not an acceptable answer to how do you know each other.
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
Come on. It's already happy hour in Europe...Man up. "I'm at work" and "it's a tuesday" are not valid excuses.
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
How many strippers in the world do you think have had a debate with someone about the NRA?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
javelin tossed one of my crutches in to the mosh pit at the concert, hit some dude in the temple hahah fuck him he sucks
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
Also, nothing screams "don't talk to me because I'm unstable" like walking around eating cookie dough out of the package.
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
I'm happy I peed in your laundry basket last night
So apparently last night while I was drunk I read him erotic fanfiction while he was eating me out. He stopped every now and then to give me feedback.
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