it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
Tonight I think I'm going to go out with a french braid so I don't wake up with puke hair. Thoughts?
And your mom thought you weren't even thinking about your future... she would be proud
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
If it's not soft enough to fuck on, then we're not getting the new rug.
Would it be bad if I bought her bread, meat, cheese, and stuff as her christmas present so she can make me a sandwich?
He returned my car yesterday. Found a duffel bag with beef jerky, condoms, and a handgun this morning. Slightly concerned
Then he unzipped his pants and whispers, " oohhh, look out!"
A man can only lie in bed watching COPS for so long before he wants to do things that can lead him to starring on the show.
I was just trying to be a good friend but in retrospect I probably shouldn't have pepper sprayed you.
Just put on slippers before underwear so you know where my priorities are
Trust me. My dick only does selfies for you.
How’s the date going?? Do you think he’s gonna cut your face off and wear it to his birthday party?
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