Fuck. I have a girl here waiting on me in my room! I told her I was going to get a drink of water... I'm in the bathroom taking a dump... I have mudd butt bad... There's NO toilet paper!!
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
Dont make this weird.... I was wondering if I could paper mache a few of your dildos this weekend?
Just saw you in traffic. You may have noticed me, I was the corpse driving the white car.
She judged ME for picking my nose when SHE has the clap.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.
Just skip
Please. i have SOME standards
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
The moment I was petting the giraffe was the moment I passed out
No we didn't talk. I was high and doing naked yoga in the living room when she walked in so it was just awkward. I didn't even know my dad had a girlfriend.
You know you're drunk when you have to be picked up out of a bathtub.
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