so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
I'm drinking till I'm someone else's problem
can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
Well, I guess this was as good a night as any to find out I don't know how to use my fire extinguisher.
I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
I told your dad we had a nice lunch and hung out for awhile. It seemed more appropriate than "I had a bite of his canned chili and then we ripped each others clothes off."
Did i tell you my idea for my life plan? Not the one that involves stripping.
i wish i could tell my students that all of their lessons plans were brought to them by captain morgan and diet coke. it's like seasame street, only for high schoolers being taught by a student teacher.
I'm like an air traffic controller of women. It's a very similar job. Well spaced and gentle landings are good. When they meet, it's bad. Explosions bad. Dying screaming burning children bad.
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
And I threw up 26 times yesterday. I actually think I threw up a spider too.
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
Randomize
