It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
she just made me lysol my hands in order to touch her tits.
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
That is the best grammar in a dirty text ever. Excellent use of the semi-colon. And yes; I am hard.
you tried turning the bar into a spelling b competition last night and every time someone couldn't spell something you would make them chug.
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
I cannot describe the pre-ejaculative horrors thru the medium of text messaging
SO HELP ME GOD THERE IS A SPIDER IN THIS PIZZA. IT IS VERY SMALL IT IS INSIDE THE CRUST AND IT IS ALIVE. I'M SO HUNGRY DO I KEEP EATING
I need an inhaler full of pot for all of this breathless rage.
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
Before he left he told me if his girlfriend ever finds out, she'll take us both to an alley and kill us.
I'm bonding with your girlfriend. I like her. We're plotting your demise.
STOP PUTTING BUTTER ON MY FUCKING CAT
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
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