I just cleaned my sheets and decided to do a black light test. My headboard is a masterpiece.
don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
It snowed today. The whore-inducing weather is official over.
I just wanted to clarify that I am not bisexual and had no intentions of ACTUALLY penetrating my roommate with a can of bugspray.
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We saluted the chips to the national anthem before cooking them. The house has to get a munchies fryer
I'm so hungover I literally am considering drinking from the fishtank to avoid getting out of bed.
All I want is a camelback full of Jameson and the weather to be cool enough for me to wear rainbow spandex. Ugh. Pride problems.
I vaguely remember stopping for a bag of bugles and some lube and then I woke up this morning with melted chocolate on my hands. I think I love him
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
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After my date left I rallied and took the Asian girl home. Flexibility my friend.
When a bartender remarks "wow" on how quickly you've finished a drink... Is that good or bad?
You took photos of my underwear around London the day after! THAT was too soon.
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
I think all the guys I've fucked in my life would get along perfectly. They'd probably form an orchestra and travel the fucking world. That gives me the slightest feeling of consistency in life which is great.
I've seriously never been more thankful for marijuana and my resting bitchface.
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