I hope mine doesn't look like that
If she catches me sniffing the seat of her office chair again, she's either going to fire me or fuck me
you'd be alarmed at how much plan b i just found in mom's bathroom...
You were throwing ham at people telling them you were the sandwhich fairy
21 Of The Most Impressive Things Ever Seen In Porn
It's probably just the physical manifestation of slut karma. But i of course mean that in the kindest way possible because i love you and respect your choices
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
So looks like I applied to adopt a dog last night. I'm completely ok with this
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
19 Parents Had Epic Reactions When Catching Their Kids Being “Bad”
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
Got promoted and on my way out the door was informed that my beard makes my face perfect for riding. Today is gonna be a good day.
Not only did she fulfill a life long dream of mine of banging in a library, she bought me subway for lunch. I feel like I got the best gold star ever today.
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
You drunk? Cause I have a terrible idea...
Honestly after an incomprehensible political rant yoga seems like the best option at 2 am