Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
I took my vicodin with tequila. I can FEEL gravity...
I'm 2 blowjobs away from girlfriend status....don't tell me I don't know how to have an adult relationship
The 19 Strangest Things People Use To Get Off
She just kept screaming you name over and over. Im starting to think this is my alarm clock
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
I promise a much better performance tomorrow than last night my penis has a bed time
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
Why is there bacon braided in my hair
These 25 Normal Couples Tried Porn Moves During Sex And It Ended Horribly
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
also bought condoms to give away to people who look like they're about to make a bad halloween decision. I'm like a fairy.
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
What's his name?? He crossfits 6 times a week, works in finance & is into the occasional felony class drug. His name is irrelevant in order to know if I wanna bone him again.
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.