Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(250): View more from British Columbia

I hope mine doesn't look like that

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(403): View more from Alberta, CA

If she catches me sniffing the seat of her office chair again, she's either going to fire me or fuck me

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(714): View more from California

you'd be alarmed at how much plan b i just found in mom's bathroom...

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(702): View more from Nevada

You were throwing ham at people telling them you were the sandwhich fairy

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21 Of The Most Impressive Things Ever Seen In Porn
Read it at the TFLN blog
(802): View more from Vermont

It's probably just the physical manifestation of slut karma. But i of course mean that in the kindest way possible because i love you and respect your choices

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(225): View more from Louisiana

my head hurts. i need an adult

(225): View more from Louisiana

and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult

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(814): View more from Pennsylvania

i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!

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(612): View more from Minnesota

Not only did she fulfill a life long dream of mine of banging in a library, she bought me subway for lunch. I feel like I got the best gold star ever today.

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(551): View more from New Jersey

Honestly after an incomprehensible political rant yoga seems like the best option at 2 am

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