doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
i have a reoccuring irrational fear i'm going to walk in on my dad masterbating. Night.
oh my god. my mom just found my pipe. she thought it was a dildo.
like i said, there should be a sitcom about your family.
Man THE POSTAL SERVICE is awesome when I'm high..... But they suck when I'm sober.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
soooo we both peed the bed last night...
You know i think she's just using me for sex
I hate you.
Drinking wine in my childhood bed getting ready to go to sleep in order to wake up for my menial temp job. Thanks, college degree, I can handle the real world.
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
So squirting runs in the family.
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
You told the entire smokers deck that you were blowing .08 now and anyone else willing later
I just had sex with a man wearing a Darth Vader helmet....he pressed the voice button the whole time that said "I am your father". I don't think I can ever come back from this
Pretty sure we ruined a bachelorettes life last night
I woke up only wearing a Breaking Bad "Los Pollos Hermanos" apron he got from Loot Crate next to a 3 empty bottles of Zima,Jolly Ranchers, and a jar of coconut oil. Fernet is one hell of a party starter