chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
i think you know its gunna be a bad day when it starts with throwing up into a red plastic cup
So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
sorry i couldnt make it to your birthday last night. i admit i chose being a whore over you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
So on how many levels of wrong is it that I'm reconsidering my divorce simply because I don't want to go through getting used to shitting around someone again.
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
No teenage boy ever gets scared away from sex unless she is slipping a wedding ring on your finger or is killing your cat. I promise.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
I just fell off a roof. So I'm kinda chillin for a minute.
I'm still a bit day drunk and decided to go for a run. You may get a snapchat of me vomiting soon
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
Well I thought I saw everything and then I saw Christmas themed poop bags at Petco.
Honestly, this social distancing bullshit is giving me a good excuse for drinking alone.
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