As im putting my laundry in the machine, i find a solo cup and a pong ball that i signed babe ruth
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
This is a mass text: my birthday is tomorrow, and I want a full day of birthday sex. Send me your availabities. Time slots begin at noon
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
I learned 3 things lastnight....1. Turkeys are related to the t-rex. 2. Whales have leg bones cause they used to walk. 3. I will sing drunk in the waffle house, but not during karaoke in the bar
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call
HE IS COURTING ME WITH CHINESE FOOD AND IT IS WORKING.
He's freaking out just because my cat licked his balls while he was fucking me
wellllllll.... I literally just puked in my mouth so perhaps this is not the epic love connection I believed it to be 3 minutes ago.
Also, my phone suggested the phrase “puke in the mailbox" how many times have I had the need to text that to people?
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
After you puked in the bathtub you claimed you were never eating quesadillas again and you never even ate a quesadilla
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
Randomize
