Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
Flirting with the rich sleazy owner of the club: 1 way ticket to free sushi, drinks, and VIP passes. FUck! im better with older men than i am with babies and dogs
a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
They threw a beer at you on stage and then you stopped the karaoke and cussed everyone in the bar out for 2 minutes
At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
WHO JUST REMOVED THAT SAME BOARD IN TWO MINUTES FLAT WITH NO INJURIES, SHOES, SOCKS, OR BRA?! THIS BITCH. CRACKIN A BEER FOR DA SHOWA. BITCHES AIN'T SHIT MOTHAFUCKA
Can I come over? I respect you, but I want disrespectful things to happen
WEED IS MY SPIRIT ANIMAL
That one probably shouldn't have been in caps
I slept through 4/20 and my roommates bought an entire ham that's just sitting in the fridge...
Weird, Jen didn't know mixers were solely for coloring purposes. Don't call me an alcoholic because you're uneducated
Just got a motivational speech from the tacobell drive thru guy at 2am
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
The awkward moment your booty call shows up to the Mexican restaurant and realizes you just picked burritos over pussy
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
I swear to God...this day is one great big who's who in the land of fucked uppedness.
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