My right nipple has been called many things but never a ghost pig
why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
I am not saying a eulogy for your vibrator.
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
Just took an adderall with a shot of tequila while doing my makeup in the parking lot at work before I go in. I'm also late. They're so lucky to have me.
It's his sex noise. "I'm gonna cu-THE LORD IS MY SHEPARD AND I SHALL NOT WANT"
You texted me a picture of your face along with #help
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
Just for the record, you referenced Harry Potter while complaining about being torn between the Slytherin (lesbians) and Gryffindor (your mostly straight friends) houses (tables)
Blacked in cold and wet, with them areound me singing Aaaaall we are saaaaayiiiing is YOU PEED YOUR PANTS
Ah Christ I think I've reached the single life mentality 100%. I just inquired a photographer about a photo shoot with my dog.
Also I found $40 in the women's bathroom at ihop. Karma is finally kicking in!
Randomize
