I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
you pissed in a zip-loc bag and wanted 60 dollars for it
my life is in even more shambles than last time, mcdonalds is closed
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
I HAVE A PRESENT FOR YOU AND ITS NOT MY VAGINA
What's the over under on catching something from your sister?
Bring gay.
By that I meant the rum. I just realized that my request made no sense. You always bring gay.
My cat was watching porn with me. Weirdest bonding experience ever.
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
According to facebook, I opened up a can of whupass on some douche who poured all the vodka on the ground.
You called the wrong number but I salute you.
I just lit a blunt like right in front of an old man and I was like sir please shieldeth your eyes
I just had sex on my divorce papers. I've never felt so poetic.
Sitting in the dr office she literally looked at my throat and goes have you been having oral intercourse
Randomize
