There are just some things I refuse to put in my mouth.
Told a girl i wanted to feel her bellybutton from the inside... I need to learn how to flirt
How long after st. Patrick's day is it ok to shit green before I should seek medicial attention?
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
That's not how these arrangements work. You don't buy each other stuff unless you break a sex toy. End of story.
apparently i walked around all last night forcing people to beer bong whatever drink was in their hand. so far this morning ive had three people refer to me as beer bong man
Just made a list of all the guys I've hooked up with. "Roofie tattoo eyelids", "xanex night guy", "rainy concert", "cory blanket" and "naked hottub guy" made it.
dude to be honest with you there is a used condom that ive just left on my floor for three days
you have got to get your shit together
Well, now that you have a gf, its gonna be awkward when I get drunk and make out with you..... Then later, pretend like I don't remember.
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
So you're willing to shred any respect that you had for your body on some random chick who's only looking for sex? That's the worst thing I've ever heard.
I mean, it won't be 100% meaningless, I know her middle name.
Randomize
