the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
I wish Denzel Washington would coach my flip cup team..
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
Mother fucker. I'm a 30J now. I'm fucking speechless
Then he complimented me on how excellent I was at breathing through my nose
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
Woke up the next morning in an 8 year old's bedroom. Saw my bra swinging from the spiderman ceiling fan and decided it would be best to dip out w/o it.
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
"Friendship bread", "how to get period stains out of cement", and "elephant bereavement" are all in my recent google history. Whatever shit that was last night really did me in...
All I remember is laying in that secret hideaway closet, naked, with a beer cowboy hat on and you walking in and sitting down crying because no one would have sex with you
It's 4 am here and I just vomited myself awake....Not rising OR shining any time soon
he was spending his time trying to use emojis to court a 19 year old, I can’t really take that seriously no matter how hot a dude is
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
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