how do you tell someone you stalk them in a non-creepy way
you don't.
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
There was a dismembered bleeding penis in my dream last night. That's some serious Freudian shit.
I'm alone drinking at the bar and the titanic theme song is on. This won't end well.
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
will you please stage a drunk girl intervention and tell him that his chain is severely harming his chances of getting laid tonight?
You kept me hostage in your driveway until you got your point across that alaska has warm weather
Holding a cold bottle of mikes hard lemonade against my pulverized taint....this is my Sunday night
I had to keep telling myself 'you can't be mad at him because you peed on him'
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
Fair warning birthday party last night avoid kitchen & upstairs bathroom if you value your remaining sanity
The oven caught fire. I put it out, but called the fire department just to make sure it was okay since the smoke wasn't going away
You just wanted to meet firemen
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
Randomize
