Five things that make you perfect. Go.
The skin of a dead hooker. The blood of the innocent. The soul of a kitten. The hat from cat in the hat. And sunglasses.
Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
I'm drinking reisling in a paper cup by myself in the garage.
Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
He came into the hospital yelling "HEY EVERYBODY! REMEMBER ME?"
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
I'm so confused as to where the sexual euphemisms end and the drinking starts
If I got to choose how I die, it would be in an Olympic sized pool of gin and tonic.
Some guy just ordered at Cosmo and 2 screwdrivers in the sky club at 8:30 am. I'm starting to feel a lot better about my alcoholism
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
I just tried to get a motorcycle cop to give me a ride....he told me not to ask strangers for rides
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