Don't pass out before midnight like you did last year. See how much your year sucked
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
he found you with your pants down, trying to straddle the urinal. no one should have to see their sister like that. ever.
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
One is full of apple juice. One is full of tequila. This is real russian roulette my friend.
You know how hard it is to drive a dirtbike down a road with 2 plants of weed on your lap. Fucking hard
Send me the video of myself under the polar bear skin. It's important.
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
Word of advice, don't put your jar if peanut butter in the microwave, blue fire comes out
I have better things to do with my life than be faithful.
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
I'm turning twenty & the only honorable way to exit my teens is by slapping the fuck outta the bag. You better be in.
I woke up in confetti... confetti and shame
I'm basically flying you out for a long weekend of sex and going to the zoo
I'm cool with that
I just KNEW this was gonna happen. NEVER say "all the free Jameson you can drink" around Tina.
Randomize
