I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
I just fell down my stairs. I know that you are 6 hours away but please come pick me up. I promise I will still be here on the stairs.
The magic cards should have been the first clue. The comments that I have "amazing birthing hips" and that I'm "beautiful in a child bearing sort of way just sealed his fate.
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
I think rendering her infertile would be a valid community service project
Why is there bacon braided in my hair
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
There are pre-booty call contracts for a reason. I have no intention of calling you tomorrow.
Do you need my fax number or something?
I used my iced coffee to ice the bump on my head from last night
Thanks for reminding me of all the hookups my brain has been trying to suppress...
That's what friends are foooooooor!
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
I'm so high I have morphed into the monopoly man. Or maybe the Pringles guy. I don't know but I have a mustach now
He set the tone in the back of his car by blasting Marvin Gaye's sexual healing before railing me
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
Randomize
