Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
I hope my liver is having as much fun as I am
Going to bed. I have to wake up early and teach small children. And then have affairs with their fathers. I'm going to get deported.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
I am never going on a blind date ever again. He drank way too much and kept telling me I had a nice boob. Like.. Singular. What's the other one? The ugly twin?
I also think about what hot dudes penises are gonna look like when theyre 80 and it's not pretty
Someone shat in our tub last night. I'm not pointing fingers but you priors make you a prime suspect.
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why do I have a wristband from the birthing center at the University of Maryland hospital....
A person can only vomit Fireball so much before they quit it forever
I have a bottle of rum in my pocket...what does that say about me...
You come prepared
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
That’s true love. If they recognize a chocolate mold of your anus.
Right now I'm laying face down on my carpet in my living room in the darkness sending work emails from my phone.
It's a glamorous life.
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