is it bad that I sent her a picture of my penis on her husbands birthday?
She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
I was crying hysterically and you wouldn't stop petting my ear and shushing me every time I tried to say something.
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
Idk man I'm just a giant talking marshmallow ready to be toasted and dipped in chocolate
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
I worked all year for this tax return. I deserve to get my nipples pierced.
Man, coughing on your period is like the biggest gamble a girl can make.
Sometimes at I wake up from a dead sleep at 1am and call the bar just to hear the clink of the glasses and the pouring of the beer on tap in the backround
Ate 3 ghost peppers and chased them with Everclear last night. Currently on the toilet cursing the universe and everyone in it.
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
Randomize
