yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
i'm so high that for the last 10 minutes i pretened my sock was a mouse, and played with it like it was legit.
the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
I'm not trying to alarm you guys, but I think I just swallowed a ketchup packet.
I would've hung out with you if I had the capacity to do anything besides fall over and pee on things
She could makes a perfectt roast dinner drunk but she nearly sets the kitchen alight microwaving popcorn.
I'm working on a search warrant...can u pick up box of Chardonnay...I'll give u cash when u get here...
Yea... I love that ur a prosecutor and drink box wine
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When do you sleep by the way. I was surprised when I went to work at 1 am,left at 7 am and had a text from you somewhere in between
I just vodka nap now...
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
She had a tattoo of Luke Bryan on her thigh and she made me waffles. Can I have two fiancees?
Like he was trying to be sexy but he had shit taste in porn so i left
If ur gunna go fuck a guy that's in the baseball hall of fame do you need to shave your legs? I'm so lazy
Sitting in my junior high parking lot high on ambien talking to a stranger I met on tinder. What is life?
Randomize