Got a toothbrush?
they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
Just saw a maroon grand am stop on my street, the driver opened the door, vomited, and then drove away like nothing happened. Been there, done that.
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina.
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
guess who's bored in chemistry researching how to sneak weed through airport security in her vagina?
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
You kept yelling in my face " YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO SUCK A DICK TONIGHT!"
You showed up at my front door in a bikini with a fifth of tequila it was like the opening to a porno
She said it was unconventional for me to yell "Shazam!!" when I came inside her.
So when did "Are you okay?" translate into "Don't tell me you got fucked by another rando after another rager"?
I have to have boobs, you have the charm and wholesomeness that gets boyfriends... And i have boobs
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