You just projectile vomited on my dad across the table at waffle house.
Do you think he can smell the vodka?
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
My three rules on what I'm wearing tonight. Something short, something see through, and something i had sex in.
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm lying topless with an eye infection at the foot of my bed with a dog between my legs. With disney in the background. Its one of those 3 am moments
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
Watermelon juice. Makes everything better. Gin. Wine. EVERYTHING.
Most people would probably take his lack of responses as a queue to stop. But nope, not me. I just keep going. And that's why I don't have a bf, just a little weinered friend
Ugh he's so pretty though. He bit my face at the bar because I tried to steal his ID and I forgave him
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
I'm abstinent now
Oh, is this one of the times when you're serious?
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
stop texting me about your public sex.
says she who narrated getting eaten out in a movie theatre over text to me
Who cares if he’s younger, he’s hung like a moose. Your vagina will never forgive you if you pass on that dick
I will bring Jesus to court if he punishes me for that
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