can you come get me and bring me shorts and a shirt
maybe shoes and water too
oh and maybe a noose to hang myself
I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
I have teeth marks. Like distinct upper and lower jaw.
Yeah me too. My shoulder looks rabid.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
I need to get my pants from under your porch. People are asking questions.
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
I ended up with bruises on the back of my knees. Tell me again how I did this?
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My new roommate just announced that she got her period, popped a percoset, smoked a bowl, and started playing a video game. She says she's not moving till it's over. New hero?
all we have is white fucking wine this is a travesty it's christmas not a fucking funeral
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
I feel like I shouldn't be left around 30 year olds when I'm drunk
You set fire to his cat.
In my defense, I did not think it would be in the trash bag.
He is a real estate investor who’s face I’m going to sit on.
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