I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
Michael Bay diarrhea
I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
I apparently texted him "since you're taking time out to think about us. You probably need to think about me getting arrested right now."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
Hey, you guys have all had chicken pox, right?
Overdraft my account again. Parents are starting to ask questions. What would go over better a gambling or drug addiction??
Moral of the story: If you're gonna throw a glass of wine in a guy's face, don't do it in your own kitchen.
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need to find another hobby that doesn't include being hungover.
I just need to stop hanging out with girls who drink wine coolers.
Mmm vodka always tastes better when i know i have work at 8am
I need your opinion, is it ACTUALLY sweet that a booty call offered to walk me home with an umbrella because it was raining, or is that just low standards?
sam was dropping a deuce next to me. wrote me a note that said "glad we shared this experience." passed it under the wrong stall. the other guy picked it up. that's all I know so far.
He's such a jerk. If only his penis was attached to someone else
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