The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
He asked to "fluff my boner.."
Guy next to me at the plasma center is high and watching porn on his itouch. I am wayy to hung over for this level of poor.
I really want to text him and congratulate him on having a bigger penis than the guy I dumped him for, but I thought that might be awkward...
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
I own a halfway home for drunk girls, this is my life
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
I swear to god he's making pineapple onions and cheese. He thinks he's making eggs onions and cheese
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
That Kevin guy is something else...His penis is fucking glorious. And he has a way with words. If he lived here I'd be the conductor of the fuck caboose. I mean literally I would never want to get off that thing.
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
And then she proceeded to tell us that blowing your brother made her feel like part of the family. At this point you were still pretending to be a cat. Need I give another reason she can't live with us?
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
I’m a lady. I promise I won’t oogle your junk when we go skinny dipping.
I didn't mean that as an expression. I'm literally asking if you want to watch Netflix and do nothing.
Randomize
