people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
At the end of the night you handed the bartender a piece of paper with the word "VISA" written on it.
My nipple ring got caught on the rug again. Tequila makes me unlearn these things
I told her I had the flu when in reality I did way too many drugs last night, haven't slept and don't want to sit through a 3 hour buisness meeting trying to figure out which voices are real and which are in my head
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
I am still sore from last night. I can't wait for you to meet my parents.
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
We've started traveling with Michael and Patrick so we can pretend we're two legit straight couples.
A charade that fell apart the second another couple on the cruse found Sarah face down in my box on an observation deck.
I'm wearing the monkey suit out tonight. I hope you're ok with it leaving the bedroom
I want you to know that the guy who peed in your bed got fat.
Regardless of how one feels after a break up, whiskey must be consumed.
I know where his drugs are but not my pants
So I'm trying to figure out how to talk my boss into allowing pajama day once a week. Any ideas?
Randomize
