What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
I thought it couldn't get worse until she said "Nipple hair"
his dog just threw up on me too. its like im a throwup magnet to that family.
a small fire erupted but we put it out with a can of beer so everything's fine
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
Congrats. You are not detrimental enough to my psyche to be discussed during this mornings therapy appointment. Please follow up next week to see if you made the cut.
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
I'm your Election Erection Connection
I retroactively revoke all sex we've ever had.
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
Funny you say that, I just sold my stripper pole to my mom tonight...
I need your opinion, is it ACTUALLY sweet that a booty call offered to walk me home with an umbrella because it was raining, or is that just low standards?
Randomize