It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
a slip n slide in 50degree weather was the 2nd dumbest thing i have ever done. the 1st was hitting the wooden fence i believed was supposed to "help us stop"
This frat boy drinking a forty and wearing a pussy patrol shirt just ran out in front of my car. I should have used less brakes.
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
he just left. I blew him in my kitchen while my parents slept down the hall. Welcome back home!
We almost died tonight..we almost die every night. but tonight was the closest by far
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
He should be castrated
Nah he might accidentally come while they're cutting it off. Wouldn't be fair to the surgeons
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
What i love about my dog is i can lay in bed and masturbate with him at the foot, and he just leaves me alone.
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
Like who turns down taking a nap inside of someone in 2014.
I successfully cockblocked 5 people in one night. I wasnt getting any, why should they.
If I get my period the weekend your parents are gone i'm removing my uterus.
Randomize
