How come it tastes like onions whenever I go down on her?
I could have mohawked her pubes.
so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Omg! I'm gonna have a heat stroke. I'm going to collect my sweat and drink it for a buzz and hydration purposes
My roommate made me a peanut butter and sprinkles sandwich. Maybe tonight isn't that bad
I just threw up over a bridge. I didn't even know there was a bridge in this town. Vodka is like a transportation device.
Be subtle and tell lucas that he should sleep here tonight. And by subtle, i mean show him this text...
your fridge is broken, your sock drawer is full of snow, and you flipped off the whole stadium on the big screen. I'd say it went well.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
They are going to name an STD after you.
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
A girl in McDonalds just asked if I was in here wasted a few nights ago throwing fries at the staff, I said it was my twin
We both know that wasn't me
I currently don't understand fingers.
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
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