Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
Just shaved my vagina. It's been so long I forgot what it looked like. You need to come over right now.
Goldfish can't live in a bowl filled with tequila, lesson learned.
She refused to give me a hand job while we were watching a war movie saying she didn't wanna disrespect the soldiers
PRINCE HARRY WAS AT WAL MART SO NEXT TIME YOU BITCH ABOUT GOING TO WAL MART REMEMBER THAT EVEN PRINCE HARRY GOES TO WAL MART.
Just me. You're probably having sex with her right now, so here's a reminder that you should be thinking of me per our agreement.
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
I just want to have sex and eat dumplings. Is that so much to ask?
I'm out of milk so I'm dunking my Oreos in Bailey's; this is my life now.
Well supposedly when the cops came, they say I tried to get them in a conga line like Jim Carrey in The Mask. So....yea
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
I may have passed out and puked all over the host's favorite couch, but three hours and a rip later, I was eating tiramisu in the bathtub with the birthday boy and a hot Italian.
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
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