Spraying perfume on pants makes them clean right?
we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
Shes in the fridge organizing my beer collection. I love having a girlfriend with OCD
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
I just woke up entirely naked on top of a pile of some guy's laundry on his bedroom floor.
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
All I could think about while we were fucking was what Hogwarts house he would be in
After drinking all day I popped an adderal, slammed three beers in a row, apparently told the bartender "thanks bitch" then ran on stage.
my Mom is now my Eskimo sister... she fucked my ex in my bed and took a selfie
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