it tastes like there's a party in my mouth and everyone is throwing up
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
I'm babysitting and we're watching Barney and I don't understand why Barney can magically make band hats appear but he makes them make shitty ass instruments.
Barney's a jerk
All signs point to mom being high. 1) making chicken at 2 am. 2) dancing to smooth jazz. 3) she asked where the peanut butter was
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
it would be nice to just get drunk, not hook up with anyone, and not die this weekend
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
Oh god. It's like a broken faucet. My guts sound like a bilge pump clogged with golf balls and cake frosting.
He played with my boobs the whole time we watched Scott Pilgrim and then started invited others to play with them too. It reminded me of how my mom gives out my french fries without asking.
I really should have gone with the man who kept offering me cocaine. Why did I chose the German!? STUPID!
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
I need to just embrace dildos and cats and call it a life.
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
Yeah, oh and the story gets better. His friend was dressed as a christmas tree wrapped in twinkle lights and had to plug himself in the wall all night.
Randomize
