By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
You should have seen her outfit yesterday. It was like pretty woman before Richard Gere gave her money to buy a new outfit.
You had already cockblocked me. The cops were just an assist.
She said I had the biggest dick she'd ever seen. And when you consider how many she's come in contact with, it's kind of like winning the heisman.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
You would be married by May if you put half as much energy into getting straight guys as you do into getting gay guys
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
girl I've been sleeping with this summer as per her request just gave me a carton of cigs to thank me for my "hospitality". this is good.
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
As i was laying there shouting that he dislocated my hip he actually reached his armed around and patted himself on the back
It was at the same house, but a different party, when lesbians set me on fire. So there's that.
Found a pic on my phone from last night. You're drunk. Arm wrestling some guy. In the bar bathroom. At a baby changing station. It's my new wallpaper.
Do you think it would be weird to wear a shirt that says 'big fun small package' from an ex for a first date?
Bug bite on my vagina. I think we need to stop this 'sex in awesome places campaign.'
Hey
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GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
Randomize