"Morning after" poops are always like, interesting.
Have you ever seen a 300 pound pregnant lady's boob fall out of her shirt cuz she's not wearing a bra? I have.
hey remember that time we got really drunk, you tried to find narnia in my refrigerator and passed out in the freezer drawer??
no.
We got so high we made milksteak
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
we got plastered, then made lists of anything thats ever been in our vaginas
I know. Brad is upset because he was lower on the list than "that carrot stick"
Delete that photo of me. My ass looks WAY to good it in to be on Facebook for everyone to see. You gotta earn that shit.
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
I went out to have a smoke, and next thing I know, he's got me bent over a picnic table praying to deities I don't believe in. You should have been there.
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
She says the reason I don't talk to her is because I'm "emotionally lazy" what ever that means
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
Dude, don't beat around the bush. We're fucked and you know it.
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
Randomize
