Our Neighbors are trying to steal our ducks!
Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
His band may suck, but it's not like I'm sleeping with all of them.
I'm riding in a wheelchair, being pulled by a golf cart. You need to be here.
I wish we could skip the pretense of being normal and just start drinking wine with breakfast
I feel like I just tasted lung cancer.
sometimes after I smoke and the high has gone away...the high will come back like three hours later for a brief yet gripping ride.
that's usually when I end up in someone's house, having sex with someone else, while that someone's roommate makes us mozzarella sticks.
I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
You never know how much you love your bed until you sleep with 4 other people in your car.
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
stop fucking thinking about him when there is A MILLION OTHER PENISES TO RIDE IN THE WORLD
Stuck in the Minneapolis airport for 3 hours with an expense budget and a wine bar. This could get out of hand quickly.
Just when I thought I was growing up, I go out and TOTALLY REDEEM MYSELF
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