We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
He wanted a handjob during a John Wayne movie. I just couldn't find it in my heart to disrespect that man. John Wayne that is.
Every time she shows up on my newsfeed, I get the taste of tequila in my mouth.
i woke up with my wallet keys and phone missing and a treasure map to find them stapled to my shirt.
haha i know
A guy just washed his hands in the toilet. No joke
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
For every drunk face picture you send me, I'm gonna send a wholesome family photo.
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
It's not even 8pm on a Friday and I've already got a guy to tell me how big his penis is. Watched anything good on Netflix lately?
Please stop telling my mom she doesn't have nipples when she's been drinking. You know shell show you. Forcefully.
getting my period the day i moved was my bodies way of saying 'congratulations youre not leaving town with anybodies babies!'
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
Randomize
