I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
How was your sisters wedding?
Oh, I didn't go. I slept through my alarm. I finally woke up and was like...I don't think so.
sisterhood ftl.
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
nothing like a negative hiv test and a bag of condoms to brighten my day.
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
an off duty cop drove behind me last night to make sure i didnt get a dui. i was blacked out drunk and on a pill of ecstacy. he knew this. i must be really pretty.
Trust me. My penis has made more than enough decisions this weekend.
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
She saves ONE person's life while blacked out and now she's positive anything can be done "while fucking hammered"
There is a pile of hair outside the apartment next door. At least now I know what all that shouting was about last night.
You are. Embrace it. But you are the right kind of asshole.
My favorite thing about your netflix account "suggestions for you" section: Russias Toughest Prisons is followed immediately by Strange Sex
O was like, nah, fuck 50-50. My version of bi is that i'm 80% gay, 20% drug-addled decisions. Apparently he's straight on hallucinogens.
Getting blackout drunk infront of my family was never on my bucket list, but now that I've done it I'm cool with it.
Randomize
