my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
I could have mohawked her pubes.
Your vagain smells worse when im sober.
sorry, worng number
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
There's some muscle relaxers in my bedside table. Sorry if my dildo is in the bathroom.
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
It was pretty bad. Like cum-on-my-face-while-singing-Let-It-Snow bad.
you took a potato out of your pocket and just started eating it raw. don't know where the potato came from though
21st birthday = success
can we just pause for one second and address the fact that balls were out last night
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
Looking through last night's sexting, realized one is a haiku..
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
Can you send me a picture of your dog? I might need to borrow him so I can wear a speedo to a pool party on Friday
It's a Saturday night and I am in bed with two cats, a bottle of Riesling, and I'm masturbating to Iron Man. I'm great at being 21.
Randomize
