i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
I really super glued a paper bow tie to my body last night. I need to do less drugs.
do you remember the combo for the lock to my pants?
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
Walking down the street, Bro bumping to 'still' by dre. Dropped his trash on the ground and aggressively sped up when his light turned green. If you still had love for the streets you wouldn't of fucking littered. Took everything for me not to yell at him. I know you would've.
The fact that I bookended my summer with pregnancy scares doesn't upset me. The fact that he's a trombone major does...
BOOM BITCH SERVES YOU RIGHT I HOPE YOU SHIT YOURSELF PETER PAN
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
Apparently stoned me thought eating chips in the shower was a good idea.
I woke up with an empty beer bottle in my slipper and a note that said "it just wants to be warm"
Ugh. I need to go to the store, but I'm too lazy. Whatever shall I do? That girls still passed out. I should steal her car
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
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