I'll buy you a vibrator, we can get married for tax benefits, and live happily ever after with lots of doggggs.
I feel like I just won at life, no connection sex and free 12 pack of beer after. Does life give out trophies, if so I want a big one.
I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
ok understand this, i didn't pay for your dinner bc you said i wasn't going to get a blowjob for at least a month... this isn't a mail-in rebate deal, you gotta pay upfront
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wasn't interested in him...but then he played The Office theme song on acoustic guitar. I'm sorry.
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think that's why god made me a woman. Bc it's harder to slap people in the face with a vagina.
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
I have a theory that years from now they will be with women who despise me because of what I trained their husbands to like.
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
Randomize