yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
Dude. I have been looking at your movie history on netflix and it is like looking at the rings of a tree. Only instead of telling me how old you are, it tells me when you were stoned.
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
I just blew my weed a kiss
Look bro I'll go half per boob with you, we split her.
She wouldn't fuck me because I had a cast, so I took her friend home
I was on top for a full on make out when in dead silence "I'm moaning Myrtle" came from the TV. Moment ruined. I got cock blocked by a fictional ghost
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
She was doing drunken zumba and screaming "FUCK YOU I HAVE MY OWN STYLE!" at the TV
I LinkedIn messaged people about jobs when I was blacked out
Hey do you remember me?
You were a giant banana.... how could I forget.
Our sex from this weekend should be engraved into a plaque or commemorated somehow. It was fucking amazing.
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