it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
so I told him I hadn't been laid since Bush was president. Right after he cums, he says "Welcome to the Obama Administration".
Sharon took in a random bleeding stranger drunker than her, named her Nicole, and is feeding her jello shots on the toilet
So, do you think I should wash the ashes off of my forehead before going to the strip club?
I'm also glad were at the point in our friendship where my vagina talking to you isn't weird
So I was about the only one NOT pregaming or stoned at my aunt's funeral... Maybe thats why I'm the black sheep.
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
Do you have any pictures of me mounting animals that aren't on Facebook?
I was hoping for a marriage proposal... Or at least an offer to sleep in his bed.
His name was Kyle but I insisted on calling him baby Jesus all night and then we did a line and he bought me Taco Bell so idk
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
apparently when she asked me how drunk I was on a scale of 1-10, I answered "bitch I'm fabulous" and tried to do a sassy hairflip. but I have short hair.
Memeber that time you got detained in Poland. We don’t talk about that enough
Also we're getting drunk and sledding down Caroline street. See you soon.
Randomize
