1. Call me if you need ANYTHING. 2. If you get tag teamed, I want details.
Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
I just took a bite of a bagel at school and it tasted like weed. If I am high for my test in 2 hours I'm gonna kick someones ass
I'm surrounded by too many unhungover people.
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
Yup, totally tried cooking bacon in the dryer last night.
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
As usual, I had to fight him for his car keys. Though this time he made it to the valet garage. All the Hispanic attendants gathered around and watched. Felt like I was in a cock fight.
Cracked my iPhone screen. Real bad. Girl from last night isn't ugly yet. Stop me if you still think she belongs under a bridge. You have 12 seconds.
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
LISTEN TO ME! DONDE ESTA LA FUCKING VICODIN!
Randomize
