whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
You know you have a great job when you need a DD home from work at 6pm.
How do you say "I'm not pregnant in Spanish?"
Im eating the cereal I found in my pocket and drinking wine out of the bottle.
THAT IS NOT SOMETHING YOU TELL SOMEBODY THE FIRST TIME YOU MEET THEM IN THE DARK.
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
Boss out of town. Had 2 beers for lunch, a long walk and a bowl...and then in he comes. Blamed obvious intoxication on my pain meds. Back at the bar. This is one of those bad judgement days.
Look, I'm just saying, she looks like a troll and works indefinitely at a shitty Chinese restaurant, so me sleeping with her boyfriend is the least of her troubles...
My parents woke me up at noon to tell me my maid had found my clothes strewn all over the neighborhood
He just made my one night stand pancakes for breakfast. And I thought living with my ex was going to be weird.
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
Randomize
