We named our party play list daddy issues
Just farted in public and tried to sniff it all up before anyone noticed...do you think that actually works?
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
Hefty paycheck and not get wasted can't exist in the same night
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
I have a theory that years from now they will be with women who despise me because of what I trained their husbands to like.
Sorry about waking up naked in your bed this morning.
She said she wanted you to slurp her vagina like a spaghetti noodle.
I have a 8 minute video of a fish tank on my phone.
We need to stop going to pet stores high.
I'm honestly wondering if my vagina did something to offend the universe
Woke up at my x's house. He said I talked about how much I love panda's for fourty five minutes. Then made him watch The Little Mermaid with me. Made the walk of shame infront of his mom. Things can only really go up from here.
Wait till you get home.
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
Randomize
