STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
I just watched a girl at work pick her nose with 4 of her 5 fingers. So I now know what sausage biscuits taste like in vomit form.
If you did the rosary as much as you masturbated, you would be the pope
I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
i think a pirate just stole the rest of our fucking beer. what an appropriate costume.
you were smoking 3 cigarettes at once saying 'cancer isn't real! Its all in your head!'
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
Hey bro, did you ever hear from the background investigator that i was supposed to bang?
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
He's so urbane and sleek; so aesthetically chiseled, having endless features to offer me whenever I desire.
Are you fucking a guy or a condo building?
It's Christmas. You could splurge on something a LITTLE fancier than wine in a box.