Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
nailed a girl as she was wearing a darth vader shirt. Cross that one off my list.
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
I may have been hammered and in a wheelchair but I definitely remember asking the hospital reseptionist to marry me
I made two strippers play rock paper scissors to see who would give me a lap dance last night
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
she's a dental assistant. she can get nitrous. kinda looks like a sloppy bucket of fuck. time to take one for the team. NEED SHOTS STAT!!
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
I'm posted up in the bathroom at au bon pain, high as balls, experimenting with eyeshadow combinations and listening to 90s jlo. The girl in the stall next to me just plopped a big one and I laughed, hope I ruined her day
I kinda wanna eat your hands right now.
Put down the everclear and go to bed.
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
Ugh..Yesterday was a complete alcohol fueled shit show. Not making eye contact with anyone today. Don't deserve it. Eye contact is for decent people.
She's not a foreskin expert like you
I love you but I don't want to see you naked.
I felt like a responsible adult. A responsible adult that may or may not end up shitfaced. But not heaving purple puke into a urinal like last time because I'm classy now.
Randomize
