I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
How do you say "I always respond to booty calls" when you give a guy your number?
woke up with a sweatshirt on that said "someone special calls me grandma" and a sword. i'm just going to assume that it was a good night
when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
I'm in the Wal Mart stall where we found out you weren't pregnant. This is where I'm going to propose to you. I feel like that would be the most romantic
heres the thing, we have 120 cans of beer left in the fridge. until thats finished we cant fit food in the fridge
If you could watch a water balloon run... That's what it's like watching her run.
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
We were gonna go out drinking tonight but she found out she's pregnant so are you free
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
I just had a man tell me he was going to think about me when he was fucking his wife tonight. This is my proudest moment as a gay.
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