i was just at lovers lane looking for gifts for a bachelorette party.....with my mom
I forgot i ate a salad for dinner, so while i was barfing in his toilet, i kept screaming "i ate leaves?? i cant believe you let me eat leaves!"
I seriously need to stop naming my lingerie sets after the boys I wear them for. I seriously just asked mom if she put Brett in the dryer
well this feels familiar. awake at the crack of dawn laying in the fetal position praying for the sweet release of death. i think im done with jager for a while
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
Would it be weird to jack off in the hospital?
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
I don't think it's food poisoning, I think it's cause you cooked it over burning styrofoam
I need a nap, Harry Potter movies, and dick in this exact order after work.
Also I know you probably did not understand anything I said on the phone last night but thank you for pretending.
You were yelling at them from the passenger seat saying you wanted your chicken for free because they couldn't prove it was from kentucky
Randomize
