I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
please quote me on this- the only thing worse than being ugly is being ugly and thinking that you're pretty
She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
just joined the mile high club. if this plane crashes because of this text, it was worth.
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
I just realized that there are baby oil soaked hand prints on the wall over my bed. Last night was a good night.
She twisted her ankle and paid a homeless guy for a piggy back ride home from the bar.
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
I just have to point out that once I typed "fa" my phone filled in "fatass"
"We hooked up and in the morning he emailed me his mix tape"
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
I just chased my hot mailman down the street to ask him out and now I am 98% positive he gave me a fake number.
She got a boob job, dumped her husband, became a stripper, got a DUI in her Porsche and is now dating her lawyer
I’m making her my life coach if med school doesn’t work out
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