How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
tried unsuccessfully for 10 minutes to do bong hits while wearing glow in the dark vampire fangs before realizing air was getting out of the sides of my mouth
strippers are much less mysterious after you sleep with them
Alright. I will breast feed the first person to get here.
Today I left one job interview, showed up randomly at his house for a midday bootycall then left right after to attend my second job interview. I got both jobs
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
I'm pretty sure I just gave myself third degree burns from punching my pizza.
Showing girls my stab wound was not the brilliant idea I thought it was.
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
She is 6 months pregnant and gets more action at bars than I do.
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
before i went to bed i wrote myself a note that says 'i feel all swirly'
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