For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
my life is in even more shambles than last time, mcdonalds is closed
Do you remember puking up your retainer into the toilet and putting it right back in your mouth?
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
It was dark, she woke me up, gave me a blowjob and then whispered in my ear: do you know who I am?
Hey I know you're not home, but I'm here. Your front door is unlocked and someone took shit on your doormat...
I'm shaved like a Brazilian hooker right now.
I have the flu.
I don't give a shit
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
My dad just said "fuck circus"
You got me 4 pizzas and i just saw this. I'm too drunk for this shit. I just yelled "4 pizzas holy shit!" At the pizza dude
I couldn't find any flowers so I brought her a cat.
Tears For Fears is the only thing getting me through life at this moment.
Like he was trying to be sexy but he had shit taste in porn so i left
A fire alarm is going off in some building, people are running around naked and people are passed out in the MIDDLE of the sidewalk. If they ban parties again, I'm going to be pissed.
Randomize
