can you take me to a tanning bed
sure, why though?
i have to go once so i can blame these herpes on the tanning bed and she won't get suspicious
the level of his annoyance + every insult he makes = the closer I am to telling him im fucking his ex
the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
This was worse than the time that I shot a bald eagle.
She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...
They called security on the security guard who tried to break up the party in their suite. You tell me how drunk they were.
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
You came in as I got off work, ordered us jack and cokes. Put them on my tab, and then proceeded to fall asleep on the bar.
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
"Do You Wanna Build a Snowman" came on while I was riding his dick. I had to take a moment.
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
What can I say I sleep with 40 year old Cougars because my mother gave me away at birth and apparently that's why says my therapist
Well, I got fired yesterday. At least I already paid for my Adele tickets.
Fuck you and fuck your stupid hat
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
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